I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
