I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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