yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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