Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I enjoy the company of your penis
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
