So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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