After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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