When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize