i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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