I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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