On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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