we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
