And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
