So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
