Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
