I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
