never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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