I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
His nipple licking is glorious
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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