As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize