I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
