I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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