Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it because I queefed?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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