Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
