I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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