You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
be right there i have to get my cape
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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