Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
