Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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