They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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