i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize