so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
