Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Success! We fucked roommates!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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