well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
