i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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