I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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