Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
