omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize