whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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