let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Watching her eat just hurts me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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