wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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