Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize