my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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