I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
