ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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