Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
