tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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