There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
