used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga