So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
