Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.