I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.