Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
