she looked like the before picture.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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