It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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