You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize