I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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