As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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