don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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