my sisters under your porch take her home
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize