We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pants 0. Shit 1.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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