Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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