; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
