My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
