I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
