I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
