So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
