I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
